Thursday, August 6, 2009


I hardly ever get on here to blog anymore since I graduated. The summer absolutely flew by. If I wouldn't have procrastinated getting this whole college deal figured out, i'd be starting the fall semester, August 17th. But... I waited too long to try to get everything figured out so i'm going to hopefully get into the spring semester. I'm hoping it will work out for the best this way anyways. Waiting one semester to start college is surely not that big a deal.. like my mother's making it out to be....arghhh. parents!

While I have this time off, i'm going to hopefully get a better job & try to find some flying lessons around so I can start working towards getting my private pilot's license. It's going to cost about $5,000-6,000 & i'm hoping I can have it done in two years which is how long it'll take to get my core classes at college out of the way. Afterwards, I plan on going into the Military, but guess we'll see where life takes me.

The Marine & I are no longer in touch. He finally sent me a message a month ago asking me not to speak to him anymore. I've been working on closing that door & moving on with my life. I've met someone new & i'm really starting to like him but it's to early to tell if it's going to go anywhere.. He has two motorcycles & he took me for my first ride on one today, it was SO much fun. I loved it & he said he would teach me how to ride one because i've been wanting to get one. He's a very sweet guy & he makes me smile.

Monday is my birthday, yayyy! I'm going to the river tomorrow with my friend & her two year old son. Then saturday after they get off work, her boyfriend & this new guy ^^^ are going to come down. I'm so excited, it's going to be alot of fun :)

That's a quick update on my life :)

Saturday, June 27, 2009


It is 2:56 AM right now & one of my very close friends is on his way to Afghanistan. He's a 19 year old, fearless, anxious soldier on his way to war. One of many. I know he's ready & I have so much respect for him. He's always been such a great friend. I recently saw him again for the first time in 4 years. Now it will be another year before I see him. Hopefully i'll get a letter from him in the next few months. In in the mean time, he's in my prayers as are all the brave men & women in the Military <3

Ever since I graduated, i've been trying to live every day to the fullest. The past few weeks have been filled with crazy adventures. I've done things I never thought i'd do (*cough* skinny dipping among them *cough*) & made many memories i'll always look back on & smile upon. But it hasn't been all fun & games. Every single time you think life is going good, something else is thrown your way. Another obstacle you have to over come.

Six months ago I fell in love with a Marine. He was everything i'd ever wanted & everything I thought i'd ever need. I spent an amazing weekend with him in February & afterwards he started training & preparing to deploy in March. Things started to go downhill shortly after. I never imagined it would have been anything like what it was and I was upset that he'd been keeping this from me for so long... but i'm going to be there for him & help him any way that I can. When he didn't get to deploy, he became depressed. It's hard because no one wants to see any one they care about struggling with any thing like this......I'm really not sure if we'll be together again, it's complicated. Love really is blind.

I'm going to bed.

God bless the troops <3

Saturday, June 6, 2009


" Summer time, I think, is a collective unconscious. We all remember the notes that made up the song of the ice cream man; we all know what it feels like to brand our thighs on a playground slide that's heated up like a knife in a fire; we all have lain on our backs with our eyes closed and our hearts beating across the surface of our lids, hoping that this day will stretch just a little longer than the last one, when in fact it's all going in the other direction."

I'm putting the last six months of my life behind me & looking to the future. I'm no longer a Marine girlfriend. I had to do what's best for me & by no means is this easy but it was necessary. I grew, learned,& experienced things with him that i'll never forget. I'll always have the memories we made together. Our time together was amazing but it's time to put it in the past & look to the future. In the end, some things just dont' work out. I plan to avoid Pisces from this point forward, haha. According to the Zodiac they are my worst match, yet there's just something about them, something irresistible that I fall for every time.

With every day that goes by, i'm learning something new about myself. When you are born & raised in the south you can try all you want to deny your roots but they eventually come shining through. My friends aren't going to believe this.... but i've even been listening to country music lately. What can I sounthern side was hiding under the surface, bound to pop up sooner or later ;)

There's this one person in my life & he's my inspiration to be just who I am, myself. Ever since i've known this person, he's never tried to be someone he isn't which never fails to amaze me. He is genuinely, just...himself...I'm not sure he'll ever know how much of an impact he's made on my life. Everyone has their own inspiration to be themselves, well he's mine.

From now on, i'm going to try to just be myself & open up more. I'm going to try my damnedest to stop caring so much about what other's think. Life's short, so you gotta live it to the fullest, right? Do crazy things, don't be so up tight, have a good laugh. You're only young once.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Beautiful Night

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare."
What a day! We had graduation practice in the gym today in case it rains tomorrow night) & we were there forever. They couldn't get anything right. I'm excited but i'm just ready for all this to be over with already!

I had to work 4-10 today & on my way to work, one of my tires blew. The noise scared me & I saw the rubber flying off in the mirror. Luckily, I was able to pull right over safely. My Stepdad came out to fix it and he let me take his truck on to work. It feels so weird driving that big ole truck! But it was nice riding home with windows that actually row down and the music up loud. The sky is absolutely cloudless & it's such a beautiful night. It was ironic though because about a week ago one of my tires had a leak & my stepdad plugged it & it wasn't that tire that blew, it was one of my good ones!

I think my bestfried cursed my car! Lately it seems as if every car she gets into ends up having some kind of trouble that day. She rode with me to graduation practice this morning & then my good tire blows out.... Strange! Haha.

There was finally alittle bit of sun today! I truely hope this rainy weather is over. I can't wait to get some suuuuun.

I'm going to eat some chocolate icecream and get ready for bed. I have a busy day tomorrow! :)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Stained Glass

"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the light is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. "

We had graduation practice bright and early this morning. When my lovely madre got off work, we went shopping to try and find a dress for Graduation. We had fun spending time together :D We went to a Mexican restaurant & I paid for us to eat and she got a Margarita! It was the first time she had a drink in forever and she got a buzz, it was hilarious. It was just so nice to finally see her having a good time * enjoying herself for once, she deserves it. It truely made my heart smile. :)

I'm so blessed in life and I thank God every day for all that he's given me. However, there is something that's truely troubling my heart...all of my three brother's have no religion. They think Christianity is a joke. I believe they have hardened their hearts to the Lord and I feel like there is nothing I can do. It truely tears me up inside because i'm very close to them & I love them with all my heart. If anything ever happens to them, then I lose them forever. I want them to have a place in Heaven with me when our life on earth is up..but if they have already hardened their hearts, what can I do?

I've walked through a good many valleys, all leading me to the point I am at today. Two years ago I was lost & doubtful until I got saved and started out on an amazing journey...I just want everyone to experience the joy & love of a relationship with the Lord.

I don't know where all that came from...I guess it was just pressing on my heart & needed to be put into words.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Freedom's in the air :D

I should be half way to North Carolina right now! Yesterday was my official last day of highschool. The plan was to leave bright and early this morning to go spend the weekend with my boyfriend, after four long months; 15 weeks apart. I was so very close to being in his arms again, I was thinking nothing could go wrong this time.. Yet once again, something came up.

Turns out he got flagged for duty this weekend. It kind of ruined my mood so I did not enjoy the senior cookout. Work helped to take my mind off of it & then one of my friends & I rented some movies and bought a pizza. We had a girls night, She knew I needed some serious cheering up. :) Two of my brother's called last night and want me to go over and hang out with them, so i'm about to get ready and go do that.

Cale has a 95% chance of coming home next month after his surgery so it's not all that bad. Knowing I don't have to get up and go to highschool anymore is an odd feeling.I don't know what the summer's going to hold ..but I can't wait for the sun to truely start shining again.

I'm looking forward to going down to the lake this summer & staying with my oldest brother, sister-in-law & nephew for a bit. Maybe I can find a summer job there, i'm going to try. I'm not getting anywhere at my current job working two days a week. I won't be 18 until August so I can't really get a better job until then.

I need to save up and get a new car. I drive a 94 jimmy & the air went out. On top of that, only one window rows up. Hoping to get either the air or the windows fixed before the heat gets here.

One of my good friends who is in the Army, is about to deploy next month and he's going home next week. I haven't seen him in four years, since the 8th grade so i'm hoping I can see him before he leaves.

I'm looking forward to spending time at the lake, getting some summer clothes, exercising more, meeting new people, taking advantage of my sixflags season pass, hopefully spending more time with Cale, and new adventures. :D

Freedom is in the air.

Monday, May 18, 2009


" As long as the sun continues to shine, there's a place in my heart for you. That's the bottom line."

Truth be told, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. I truely haven't been this happy in quite awhile. Things have been very rocky for Cale & I. We have been apart more than four months of the six we have been together. Distance has started to wear on our relationship & things have been falling apart. Yesterday I decided to send him a picture with a quote underneath. It said, " If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together, there is something you must always remember: even if we are apart, i'll always be with you."

We ended up texting for hours last night until we fell asleep & he made time to text me and tell me good morning. We both agree that things were not supposed to be this hard for both of us but I feel in my heart that things will get nothing but better from this point in time. He's finally stepping up. I pray that he will able to come home next month :)

I woke up this morning with a heart filled with joy & excitment. With only four days of highschool left, this is it. :)

Cheers to the future, new adventures & new people, and growing & learning more.