Inspiration

<" Summer time, I think, is a collective unconscious. We all remember the notes that made up the song of the ice cream man; we all know what it feels like to brand our thighs on a playground slide that's heated up like a knife in a fire; we all have lain on our backs with our eyes closed and our hearts beating across the surface of our lids, hoping that this day will stretch just a little longer than the last one, when in fact it's all going in the other direction."


I'm putting the last six months of my life behind me & looking to the future. I'm no longer a Marine girlfriend. I had to do what's best for me & by no means is this easy but it was necessary. I grew, learned,& experienced things with him that i'll never forget. I'll always have the memories we made together. Our time together was amazing but it's time to put it in the past & look to the future. In the end, some things just dont' work out. I plan to avoid Pisces from this point forward, haha. According to the Zodiac they are my worst match, yet there's just something about them, something irresistible that I fall for every time.


With every day that goes by, i'm learning something new about myself. When you are born & raised in the south you can try all you want to deny your roots but they eventually come shining through. My friends aren't going to believe this.... but i've even been listening to country music lately. What can I say...my sounthern side was hiding under the surface, bound to pop up sooner or later ;)


There's this one person in my life & he's my inspiration to be just who I am, myself. Ever since i've known this person, he's never tried to be someone he isn't which never fails to amaze me. He is genuinely, just...himself...I'm not sure he'll ever know how much of an impact he's made on my life. Everyone has their own inspiration to be themselves, well he's mine.

From now on, i'm going to try to just be myself & open up more. I'm going to try my damnedest to stop caring so much about what other's think. Life's short, so you gotta live it to the fullest, right? Do crazy things, don't be so up tight, have a good laugh. You're only young once.

Beautiful Night

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare."
What a day! We had graduation practice in the gym today in case it rains tomorrow night) & we were there forever. They couldn't get anything right. I'm excited but i'm just ready for all this to be over with already!

I had to work 4-10 today & on my way to work, one of my tires blew. The noise scared me & I saw the rubber flying off in the mirror. Luckily, I was able to pull right over safely. My Stepdad came out to fix it and he let me take his truck on to work. It feels so weird driving that big ole truck! But it was nice riding home with windows that actually row down and the music up loud. The sky is absolutely cloudless & it's such a beautiful night. It was ironic though because about a week ago one of my tires had a leak & my stepdad plugged it & it wasn't that tire that blew, it was one of my good ones!

I think my bestfried cursed my car! Lately it seems as if every car she gets into ends up having some kind of trouble that day. She rode with me to graduation practice this morning & then my good tire blows out.... Strange! Haha.

There was finally alittle bit of sun today! I truely hope this rainy weather is over. I can't wait to get some suuuuun.

I'm going to eat some chocolate icecream and get ready for bed. I have a busy day tomorrow! :)

Stained Glass

"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the light is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. "


We had graduation practice bright and early this morning. When my lovely madre got off work, we went shopping to try and find a dress for Graduation. We had fun spending time together :D We went to a Mexican restaurant & I paid for us to eat and she got a Margarita! It was the first time she had a drink in forever and she got a buzz, it was hilarious. It was just so nice to finally see her having a good time * enjoying herself for once, she deserves it. It truely made my heart smile. :)

I'm so blessed in life and I thank God every day for all that he's given me. However, there is something that's truely troubling my heart...all of my three brother's have no religion. They think Christianity is a joke. I believe they have hardened their hearts to the Lord and I feel like there is nothing I can do. It truely tears me up inside because i'm very close to them & I love them with all my heart. If anything ever happens to them, then I lose them forever. I want them to have a place in Heaven with me when our life on earth is up..but if they have already hardened their hearts, what can I do?

I've walked through a good many valleys, all leading me to the point I am at today. Two years ago I was lost & doubtful until I got saved and started out on an amazing journey...I just want everyone to experience the joy & love of a relationship with the Lord.

I don't know where all that came from...I guess it was just pressing on my heart & needed to be put into words.

Freedom's in the air :D

I should be half way to North Carolina right now! Yesterday was my official last day of highschool. The plan was to leave bright and early this morning to go spend the weekend with my boyfriend, after four long months; 15 weeks apart. I was so very close to being in his arms again, I was thinking nothing could go wrong this time.. Yet once again, something came up.

Turns out he got flagged for duty this weekend. It kind of ruined my mood so I did not enjoy the senior cookout. Work helped to take my mind off of it & then one of my friends & I rented some movies and bought a pizza. We had a girls night, She knew I needed some serious cheering up. :) Two of my brother's called last night and want me to go over and hang out with them, so i'm about to get ready and go do that.

Cale has a 95% chance of coming home next month after his surgery so it's not all that bad. Knowing I don't have to get up and go to highschool anymore is an odd feeling.I don't know what the summer's going to hold ..but I can't wait for the sun to truely start shining again.

I'm looking forward to going down to the lake this summer & staying with my oldest brother, sister-in-law & nephew for a bit. Maybe I can find a summer job there, i'm going to try. I'm not getting anywhere at my current job working two days a week. I won't be 18 until August so I can't really get a better job until then.

I need to save up and get a new car. I drive a 94 jimmy & the air went out. On top of that, only one window rows up. Hoping to get either the air or the windows fixed before the heat gets here.


One of my good friends who is in the Army, is about to deploy next month and he's going home next week. I haven't seen him in four years, since the 8th grade so i'm hoping I can see him before he leaves.


I'm looking forward to spending time at the lake, getting some summer clothes, exercising more, meeting new people, taking advantage of my sixflags season pass, hopefully spending more time with Cale, and new adventures. :D

Freedom is in the air.

Sunshine

" As long as the sun continues to shine, there's a place in my heart for you. That's the bottom line."


Truth be told, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. I truely haven't been this happy in quite awhile. Things have been very rocky for Cale & I. We have been apart more than four months of the six we have been together. Distance has started to wear on our relationship & things have been falling apart. Yesterday I decided to send him a picture with a quote underneath. It said, " If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together, there is something you must always remember: even if we are apart, i'll always be with you."

We ended up texting for hours last night until we fell asleep & he made time to text me and tell me good morning. We both agree that things were not supposed to be this hard for both of us but I feel in my heart that things will get nothing but better from this point in time. He's finally stepping up. I pray that he will able to come home next month :)

I woke up this morning with a heart filled with joy & excitment. With only four days of highschool left, this is it. :)

Cheers to the future, new adventures & new people, and growing & learning more.

Motivation.

"Life is an instrument for a song, like the sun for tomorrow's dawn, every moment of time's just an answer to find what you're here for, what you breathe for, what you wake for, what you bleed for."

With only four or five more days of school left, this is it. The beginning of the rest of my life. I have no sure game plan, only a rough outline with all my goals & dreams. Yesterday, a good friend of mine asked me how I was so motivated, how i've always made good grades & always found time to do my homework after a looong day. I said, it's simple...I want to be successful & make something of my self, go places and accomplish great things in life. I was then asked my definition of successful. My goal in life is to have a good career that i'm passionate about and most importantly, enjoy.

Two of my three brothers never made it out of middle school. They dropped out before 8th grade, got involved with the wrong crowd, started doing drugs. I've watched drugs destroy my brother & sister in law's life. My oldest brother has come to be addicted to pain pills. My father was an acholic and he passed away with a heart attack in his early forties when I was six years old. The youngest of my three brothers graduated high school but he's not going to college or choosing to better himself. He's now working with my oldest brother. My three brothers haven't done anything with their lifes. I'm determined too. I'm going to be the first person in my family to go to college and do great things with my life. I love my brothers, they have been my influence to succeed in life, choose my friends wisely, and stay away from drugs, alcohol, and partying. I'd be lost without them.

All I can do at this point in time is pray that i'll be able to listen with an open heart & mind, understand, & make wise choices regarding my future has God reveals his plan for my life. <3

Hope you have a beautiful weekend!
Thought i'd sure these pictures of my baby, Rascal. He's a free spirit & will be two years old this month. :)

8's

So I was tagged :) Here ya go.

8 things I am looking forward to:

1. Graduating in a few weeks.
2. Having adventures & spending more time with family & friends this summer.
3. Spending more time with my Marine & building our relationship.
4. Starting college in the fall.
5. SKYDIVING this summer :)
6. Turning 18.
7. Getting into shape & getting healthier.
8. I'm looking forward to the future in general.


8 things I did yesterday:

1. Went to school.
2. Picked up my paycheck & got it cashed.
3. Ate Mexican with one of my best friends.
4. Went to the library.
5. Started to read Dear John by Nicolas Sparks.
6. Played Zelda: Twilight Princess.
7. Bought some things for my scrapbook.
8. Exercised.


8 things I wish I could do:

1. Learn to fly & get my pilot's license.
2. Travel the world & experience different cultures.
3. Go skydiving.
4. Become one of the few female fighter pilots in the military.
5. Truely make a difference in the world & impact someone's life in a great way.
6. Find a better job that I enjoy.
7. Get a new car.
8. Accomplish all my dreams & goals in life.


8 shows I watch:

1. Nip/Tuck
2. NCIS
3. The Secret Life of an American teenager.
4. Family Guy
5. House.
6. America's funniest home videos.
7. 1000 ways to die.
8. Extreme Makeover; Home Edition.