Sunday, March 15, 2009

I am...

So I found this.. and I love's very true.

You think you know me, but you really don't have a clue....I'm the blonde standing behind you in line at the grocery store, eying the newest "Support Our Troops" magnet while waiting in line. The look on my face is always complacent and my thoughts are thousands of miles away.I’m the girl in the next car with glossy eyes listening to that stupid song I am convinced the radio is tormenting me with on purpose. I’m the girl who has fought an inner battle, trying to accept the path the man she loves has chosen. I'm the girl who will willingly leave her family, her friends and her home to follow a man clear across the country. I'm the woman who never asked for this, but deals with it without complaint. I’m the one who hates war but knows that it's a necessary thing. I'm the one who supports her President regardless of her own opinion because he is the man her loved one is fighting under. I am the girl who tries her hardest to go about her everyday life. I am the girl who tries to concentrate at work but frankly finds it damn near impossible at times. I am the girl who hates sleeping alone, but reminds herself – this is what I chose. I am the girl who closes her eyes and pretends that the man she loves is right there next to her, his arms wrapped around her. I am the girl who tries not to miss him, and who tries not to cry whenever she hears his name or even the mention of Marines. I'm the girl who fights a battle every morning when it comes time to get out of bed and face yet another day without him here, just so he'll be proud of me when he does come home. I'm the girl who lays awake each night in tears because no matter how hard I try, I can't fall asleep knowing he's so far away. I'm the girl who sits quietly because all I can think about is that next moment when he will be home, and I can finally breathe again. I'm the girl with a million things to say, but not one of them ever comes out because I know you won't be able to understand. I'm the girl that never goes anywhere without her cell phone, just in case he gets a chance to call. I'm the girl whose heart stops every time she sees someone wearing a USMC t-shirt, and who fights back tears anytime a man in uniform walks by. You say that you do know me? What you don't know is that I know love on an entirely different level than most. I know love that survives time and space that knows no jealously and feeds off trust. I know that 'love' that most people spend their entire lives searching for, but never find. I'm one of those girls that waits months for a single kiss; a kiss that will make months apart worth the wait; a kiss where everything in the world seems to just stop. You don't understand that when he leaves part of me goes with him, and part of him stays with me. You don't understand how we can be so far away from each other for so long and remain faithful. You don't understand how I can put so much trust into one person, so much love into something that I'm not able to admire face to face day by day. You tell me the Military is a relationship killer; I say it kills the weak. You tell me that he won't wait for me, and I tell you that I'm one of the reason's he's hanging on. You tell me you know how I feel and that you understand what I'm going through; although I appreciate you attempting to sympathize with me, you really have no idea…. I'm one of those girls who will stand tall and stay strong on the outside, but will be dying on the inside; waiting for the moment I am finally alone, so that I can break down and cry. I am one of the girls who will make friends with complete strangers because only they can fully understand what exactly I'm going through. You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and that he is in everything I do. You think I don't cry anymore and that I've gotten over it, but what you don't know is that I just hide it, better. You don't know the feeling the first time you hear the word deployment or the feeling of his hand as it slides out of yours for what could be the last time. You don't know what that last hug or kiss means and how important that last moment in his arms at the airport truly is. I'm the girl you see standing alone in the corner of the airport watching quietly out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks. I'm the girl you see walking by with a disheartened face staring silently at the ground. You tell me that you support our Soldiers; I tell you, I'm in love with one. I'm one of the silent, but outgoing; weak, but strong; scared, but grateful. I'm one of those girls; the girl who stands tall behind her Soldier, stands proud behind her Hero, stands strong behind her man, watching silently as he serves and defends our country

Happy moments, Praise God.
Difficult moments, Seek God.
Quiet moments, Worship God.
Painful moments, Trust God.
Every moment, Thank God.


  1. This was really amazing. It totally describes you, I'm sure =) ILY

  2. Hi,

    I found you through .beee, and just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post, and how much I admire you for being strong for your Soldier. The next time you send a letter to him, please tell him I said thank you for all her does every day.

    My prayers are with both of you.


    PS....I do kind of understand. I am a very Proud Army mom. :)